When Love Fails

Trust is a valuable piece of any relationship. When trust is violated it takes a lot of thine to regain it. Seriously, because someone cries and say I'm sorry they automatically expect for things to go back to normal. They generally say why do you keep bring up the past. My thing is how can you forget the past when it's so relevant in your present. Now I'm not saying you throw it in their face every time you feel like it but if your are repeating behaviors from your past that's affecting your present it has to be discussed. Maybe it's just me. When trust is gone we typically hold on to a lover whom we feel has violated you but you stay. People stay for many reasons, kids, companionship, money, status change, Godly vows, etc. Whatever your reason ou stay because you chosed to even after all the lies, infidelity, and whatever it was that caused your relationship demise. I think the of change makes people stay. Think about it, you have invested so much time in that person that you convince yourself it's not worth starting over. All I can say is live for yourself, whatever makes you happy then go for it. Life is getting shorter while pain is getting longer. Lust is the growing emotion while love is slowing losing its true meaning. Don't play games with people hearts, don't lie about your love, don't stay out of presumed obligation. Live free, love freely, love honestly, live integrity. Whether you agree or disagree this is just food for thought, you do he dishes!!!

Live Free. Love Hard.

Physical Love

I appreciate the fact when men understand that hitting women is a cowardly act. It's one thing to raise your voice at her or have a screwed up attitude but when it becomes physical, in my mind you a punk. Seriously, what do a man get out of beating on women. I know from seeing it growing up it's pathetic. Most of my Uncles and my dad hit their women. Like, really dude, you so weak that you have to hit on a woman who primary feature in life is to be soft and cuddly. My dad was stabbed one night in his shoulder for beating on a woman when I was a little boy. I was there and it was ridiculous. I couldn't defend her, I just watched. I saw my uncle hit his sister one night and after years of anger from watching what happened I hit him. He almost lost his sight in his right eye I hit him so hard. I hate to hear about battered women. If you want to prove your manhood hit another man, not some small bodied weak dude but one that would knock the hell out of you. Ladies, if you or someone you know are experiencing a relationship that is physical in the wrong way do something about it. My two younger sisters lost their mother because my dad killed her thru his abuse. It's no excuse and it should not be tolerated. Stand up for yourself, your life, your humanity, your self worth and knock the hell out of him and call the police. Get those type of men out your life. No matter your physical beauty, body size, weight gain, you do not deserve any man hitting on you. If he has to hit you to prove his so called love, it's not love it's control and a worthless man. I have never hit a girl friend or my wife and would never. There is absolutely nothing a woman could possibly due that would make me hit her. Whether you agree or disagree this is just food for thought.

Live Free. Love Hard...

Love with violence
a mouth of silence
leaves you battered and beaten.
He hits you and you believe him
he said you provoked him now you bleeding.
A battered relationship is bad for your health
it typically ends in death
why do you want to be next
he don't love you if he hits you when he's upset.
Take some advice and leave that man
devise your plan
there is another who can love you better than he can.
Remember your self worth
love shouldn't hurt
Don't let him take your life and walk on you like dirt.

TAKE A STAND!!!!!

Live For You....

People live their life based on what others say. Be yourself, love yourself, let know man provide an identity for you. Why is it that we seek others approval about things we wear, things we buy, places we go. Are we living for someone other than God and ourself. What does it matter if your friends don't like that shirt you brought, the car you drive, IT'S YOURS. Everything about you is unique down to your body scent. I have learned over the years, seeking others approval to make decisions for myself will never happen again. People tend to try and live thru you and not for themselves. Free yourself, mind, body, and spirit. If you can not be loved for you, then they are not the people for you. Life's journey is not meant to travel the same path as others, we have our own life compass. As long as we are righteous, spiritually connected, honest and full of self worth, no matter which path we take one day we will all end up at the same destination. Live for yourself, develop self worth, enjoy the life God has given you and live it for you. Life is not followed like people on twitter, it's a written destination we just have to take the journey. Whether you agree or disagree this is just food for thought.

Live Free. Love Hard.

Locked in a Closet

Alone in the darkness,
I cry.
How can you treat me like this,
Tell me why.
I'm banging on the door,
pounding on the wall.
You hear my tender cries and ignore,
I continue to yell I hear you walk up the hall.
What did I do,
Was I ever so bad.
I told you I love you,
But you locked me in a closet instead,
I wanted to get out.
leave forever and never return,
Your home is not my house.
I have lived a lesson learned,
I'm older now.
You I no longer fear,
I walk on a solid ground.
I no longer shed a tear,
Blessed with a good life.
My kids I want to do right,
I felt victim to your evil plights
But now I sleep good I can finally turn off that closet light.

Is Love Lost

Love has changed over the years. There is very little monogamy, faithfulness, honesty and pure commitment. It makes it hard to even love the way your heart desire because you are afraid to truly open up your heart. All these social networks got every man in the world thinking they can have the women they see on Twitter, Facebook etc. Truthfully, those women on there because they are experiencing self-esteem issues or their heart was broken as well. So an easy outlet is allowing others to see your body and make outlandish comments about them. All men including myself, look at these women fantasize and make comments about them. However, every man wants his woman for himself and not the world to see. That is why the Hollywood relationships are hard to maintain. When you are onscreen naked, the world sees you. There is no longer that mystic about that particular woman anymore. Look at Halle Berry, arguably the prettiest woman in Hollywood but she can't sustain a long term relationship. Men are captivated by her beauty but her body is no longer a mystery to millions of men. We seen it, we were amazed and instantly our attention wanted to see something better. Now love is more than external beauty, it's understanding, compassion, trust, longevity, spiritual connection, and being best friends.  Look at the statistics on Divorces. Over 50% of first marriages end in Divorce, 67% of second and 75% of third marriages. The reason why the number continues to increase because you leave your first marriage for the person you cheated on your first spouse with, the second marriage ends because the person you thought they were wasn't real. When you get to the third marriage you think you have hit the nail on the head but actually you are settling because the desire to actually stay in a committed relationship has all but vanished. If we want to get back to the what love really means and experience true love, we have to first stop looking for love. You find people, items, and objects. So how can you find an inanimate object.  Love is an emotion. Love can't be touched but felt, can't be held but experienced. One day we will let all these superficial things that are holding us back from experiencing love. If ever in life we need to change anything, let's change the direction we are taking our hearts. Love should be painless but if we continue down our current path with love, our kids will never know how to really love.  Again this is just my opinion so take it as food for thought.

Live Free. Love Hard.

Kama Sutra

Well today I was reading this book, how'd you guess it was Kama Sutra. Anyway, I ran across a few chapters that caught my attention that I wanted to share what I read as well as my insights. In Kama Sutra Part V About the Wives if Other Men was a few things that stood out to me. For example, the book stated "a man may resort to the wife of another, for the purpose of saving his own life, when he perceives that his love for her proceeds from one degree of intensity to another." The book also list all 10 degrees, I'm not going to list them all but here are a few:

1.Love of the eye
2.Attachment of the mind
3.Constant reflection
4.Emaciation of the body
5.Turning away from objects of enjoyment

So, I'm reading this an immediately the wheels start turning. Basically, it says that it's ok to cheat if it's for the purpose of saving your life. Well, for many men that gives us like a million reasons or should I say excuses to find a reason to "proceed from one degree of intensity to another." I'm just saying it's wild to even think on this. Next, the book goes on to say "A woman falls in love with every handsome mat she sees, and so does every man at the sight of a beautiful woman." Interesting, so when will anyone have a committed relationship if this is believed to be true. Also, this is saying that you can fall in love with more than one person and it's ok. So those of you who say you can fall in love or be in love with more than one person, remember where you read it first. Now this is where the damn book throws me. Again, I like to read but some things just confesses me at times. The book states "A woman may reject a man for the following reasons"

1.Affection for her husband
2.Desire for lawful progeny
3.Want of opportunity
4.Difference in rank of life
5.Thinking the man may be attached to some other person
6.Thinking that the man is too devoted to his friends
7.Disillusion of seeing his grey hair or shabby apperance

I take a look at this brief list of 7 things out the 20 that was listed and I say, first you say you can fall in love with every handsome man she see. Now she can reject you for her husband but if she is interested she can go ahead and accept his advances. I know its a guy somewhere reading this like, I wish my wife would. Well, don't hate the player hate the book.
The book also states that "The following are the men who generally obtain success with women:"

1.Men well versed in the science of love
2.Men skilled in telling stories (Basically a liar)
3.Men who send presents to them (Obviously)
4.Men who talk well (So what my hood dialect wouldn't win me Beyonce..."What it do shawty")
5.Men who are good looking (Obviously again)
6.Men who are devoted to sexual pleasures (SWV song blasting "I'm going down town" in all the ladies head right now)

They listed 24 but I gave you 6. Now the last Chapter I finished up on was Part VI About Courtesans Chapter 2 Of Living Like a Wife. When I write what's next every man will stand up and probably rejoice because it's like we just won the lottery. The book states "When a courtesan is living as a wife with her lover, she should behave like a chaste woman, and do everything to his satisfaction." Did the book just say everything to his satisfaction, well the first thing on a man list would be for her to be quiet and stop asking so many questions. When you in a relationship it's like being on Jeopardy because every conversation has to end with a question. She looks at you and say "Who is Jane Doe" you answer back, my cousin, she says, wrong for $800 Alex, I called the chick and she said she your girlfriend. I'm just saying, women you know you ask a million in one questions like Wendy Williams. You walk in your house and sit on your couch you automatically on a talk show defending yourself. Hold on for a second let me throw my living room set outside. Ok, now where was I, oh yeah, a woman doing everything to his satisfaction. All I'm going to say if the things listed in this book was half true, the divorce rate may be less in a man's eye but probably higher in a woman's eye. Again, this is just what I read so you can take it as food for thought.

Live Free. Love Hard.

I Do's......

Well, I will probably hear a lot of lip once this blog reach the airwaves but you know what, it's my thoughts so I'm putting it out there. Now, when you say your "I DOs" couples don't realize what they are saying I do to. So let me give you a run down of some the "I DOs" that people seem to say "I Don't" in marriage. I Do cuss you out for not putting the toilet seat down and I Don't support your crazy dreams cause we ain't never going to be rich. I Do agree to give you sex when I feel like it, I Don't think I can go down on you cause I don't do that. Well ladies when you say I DO in a man eyes means "YOU DO" agree to do all the things we have fantasized about for all these years. I mean what's the point to giving up recreational activities if your woman refuses to be your everything. Now I'm not saying you have to degrade yourself as a lady, but making your man happy at home is just as important as him making you happy like, giving you the credit card, clipping coupons for you, helping you take out your braids, rubbing your feet after squeezing them in heels that don't fit. When you look at what we have to deal with you should be happy to oblige us in the things we like. Just food for thought.

Live Free. Love Hard.

Social Network

In the beginning you had complete innocence
No worries, no cares just trying to avoid punishment
Up in your room, admiring the view
Watching the birds fly and you mimic what they do
Then they made Facebook, along came Twitter
Popular you wanted so Social Networks help you make friends quicker
Not the friends that have your best interest at hand
But the friends that have alternative plans
Twisting your shared thoughts as you share your life
Even after you was warned to limited your postings not once but twice
But hard headed you like
Social Networks got you caught up in their plight
You want to delete them, they can sense your hesitation
Your parents don't hear your out cry for extrication
So now you realize how cruel the world can be
All your friends turned enemies
Boys calling you ungodly names
You wonder who is to blame
No one cause you was on Facebook and Twitter searching for fame

Live Free. Love Hard.

Love vs Lust

I think we over complicate love. We are out searching for that special someone. Why search. I mean, love can't be found or defined. It's discovered. You can't automatically just say I love you, well some do but true love has to be discovered. You take time to learn about people, things, likes and dislikes. I think today we live in a lustful society. Everything is immediate gratification. No one stays for the long haul. Like I lust for a new phone, I know we won't be together forever because when I see something I think is better, guess what I get rid of the one I have on to something new. That's how people are treating relationships these days. I'm just saying, for real who wants to be in a relationship for 30years. I mean I know I can and will someday but with all the social networks out today, you see you have options. My thoughts are if you want to love then do it totally. If you want to lust do it totally but committ to one and ride it to the wheels fall of.

Live Free. Love Hard.